OH MY GOD!!! Those are the only words that made it out of my mouth for about ten minutes.
I just kept saying it. Over and over and over.
I yelled for my husband, who was playing Call of Duty in the living room, and by the time he heard me I had gotten pretty loud, so he busted through the bathroom door to see what in the world was wrong. I didn’t move from the toilet seat, just held up the pregnancy test so he could see and said “O MY GOD!” several times in different inflections and volumes. I was clearly freaking out.
With his eyes glued to the test in my hand, and without saying a word, he slowly sat on the edge of the tub in front of me. Sitting on the toilet, in my mother-in-law’s bathroom, looking down at those two pink lines, with my husband either surprisingly calm or in shock in front of me, my mind was in a state of chaos.
With every worry that my mind thought of, my mouth could only articulate out loud those three little words, while internally I had so much to say, so many what-if’s, how are-we-gonna’s and we-aren’t-ready’s. At 19, and married only a year, the furthest we had gotten on the plan of growing our family was making jokes about how we could make some really cute kids together. We lived in a tiny duplex apartment in East Texas and we did our laundry at his parents’ house on the weekends.
Was this really happening? After a while, I was able to get quiet and when I looked at my husband, he was still there, still silent and…smiling? Was that really a smile on his face?
Yes. He was smiling. And I melted. I realized that my husband and I were sitting alone in the bathroom, with a baby on the way and he was happy. We had made a family!
When I asked him what he thought, he simply said, “Ok.” And that was everything I needed to hear. It was the answer to all the questions in the web of crazy in my mind.
What if – It’s going to be ok. Where are we gonna – it’s going to be ok. How are we gonna – it’s going to be ok.
Flash forward five years. We have a beautiful little girl, who is smart, strong, silly, challenging, and a joy – a joy that chases the grey away, and now everything is so much more than “ok.”
OH MY GOD, who would I be without this little girl that made me a mom??
How did you and your partner react when you found out!? How long did it take for your shock to turn into excitement? Tell us in the comments below!
–Blog authored by Kasey Schoof, No Barriers Birth Labor Doula, provider of belly casting services in East Texas, and amazing mom of two totally cute kiddoes