Tag Archives: confidence

Why? Because Mistakes Do Happen

placenta-bags-mixed-up-safetyWhy do we encapsulate in our clients home? Why do we provide our clients with everything they need to safely transport their own placenta? Why would we never, ever, ever take a placenta out of our client’s possession? Two reasons:

1. Mistakes happen.

One happened yesterday to a new mom (not our client) who entrusted her health and safety to a service provider who did not uphold the safest possible standards.

A mix up. Two containers resting on the counter. They look identical.

One is snatched up for a quick front-porch drop off at this newly postpartum woman’s home.

Only after taking several pills did this mom realize that they might not belong to her. And it was confirmed. She ingested another person’s organ.

Only after reaching out to the person who did the encapsulation did the service provider realize her other client also received the wrong pills.

Two mothers. Two newborn babies. Two huge questions:

Have I or my baby been exposed to something dangerous? Can I trust that these replacement pills are actually mine?”

No new mother should have to ask these questions during an already stressful time.

2. Your safety comes before our convenience. Every time.

Sure, I suppose that some encapsulators prefer to put your placenta on the stove while enjoying the convenience of simultaneously preparing a salad and chuck roast for dinner, or while stepping outside to bathe their dog, or even while prepping another client’s placenta over in the sink, or “insert productive tasks here” which one might be able to accomplish when placentas are processed in the encapsulator’s home. Maybe they don’t do those things. Hopefully not. But the truth is, mistakes do happen.

We have the ability to enact a protocol in our industry that eliminates this problem: client keeps placenta in her possession. Period. It’s quite simple really, and yet in our unregulated industry of placenta encapsulation, this faces much resistance from many encapsulators. Policies like “I always label the containers,” or “I don’t start the second placenta until I finish the first one” still leave room for human error. And good intentions aren’t good enough when it comes to exposure to blood borne pathogens.

When performing this service outside of the client’s home, any self-imposed procedural safeguards are not enough when an accident occurs, which obviously, they do occur. It is unacceptable that recklessness has increased this mother’s stress level during an already overwhelming time of bringing home a new baby. I can’t imagine that “good intentions” are good enough to any mother that this has happened to.

Our strict policy of only encapsulating in the clients home gives our undivided attention to our client and to her placenta, regardless of the extra miles or time that may be required of our Postpartum Placenta Specialists. It is absolutely the safest possible location for us to encapsulate your placenta and on your safety, we will make no compromise.

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Mean Girls & Self Love

Comparison, judgement, self-doubt, insecurity

I want to tell you the stories that I have been told from real women here in East Texas. These stories reveal a toxic problem in female culture that I just have to address.

“I heard her say “If my kids acted like that…”

Of being judged by others

“The lady just glared at me from across the store while I [breast] fed him, but he was literally screaming, and I couldn’t wait!”

Of people not-so-quietly criticizing their choices

“The waitress said to her coworker ‘Did she order all of that food just for her?’ It’s none of her business anyway, but I ordered for my whole family.”

Of people even intentionally trying to hurt a woman’s self-worth with their words

“A mother told her teenage daughter (while laughing!): “Honey, if you ever get fat, I don’t want to see you wearing shorts like that.”

Telling half-truths, or building a narrative that fits their ill-informed perception

“Within earshot she told her kids, ‘do you want to have to work a job like that? Well that’s why you go to school.’ When the truth is, I AM in school and I love my job!”

Good grief! You would think that as we grow older that we would also mature, right?

Wait, aren’t we all adults here?

How common is it for someone to observe a tiny piece of our lives and then craft a whole narrative of assumptions and judgement based on that one tiny piece of information?  It happens all the time.

Here are some thoughts I have on the inner-workings of these types of mean-girl behaviors:

There is this strange thing that happens when someone makes a decision that, deep down, you judge: the little voice of comparison and self-doubt taps on your shoulder and whispers “who does she think she is?” This initial judgement is actually often synonymous with “she must think she’s better than me” or “she needs to fall in line with the tribe.”

Let’s not even get started on the perils of herd mentality, but rather, lets take that train of thought another step deeper.  If this hypothetical person isn’t falling in line or following tribe rules then here’s the root fear motivating the judgement: “she must think my choices are wrong.” And if the person can get really honest about that root fear, we can boil this all the way down to an underlying core truth they don’t want to face “I am insecure in my choices, and my judgements are only a reflection of me”.

Ok, ok, that got really deep, really fast, but I’ll toss in some examples:

Ask yourself how you feel when someone talks about polarized parenting topics with you, something that matters to you like choosing to birth fully un-medicated vs. with an epidural. Or the choice to vaccinate or circumcise. Or maybe you don’t have strong feelings about these birth or parenting topics but you can think of another relevant issue. Sometimes people can really get their hackles raised just by seeing other people’s choices.

For some women, when they see a choice someone else makes, the temptation creeps in to believe that it somehow threatens their worth and value. The way one woman chooses to live, birth, parent, etc. is not a critique of how you live, birth, parent, etc!  Don’t be fooled:

Other people’s choices are not an attack on your choices.

If someone is criticizing, bad mouthing, trash-talking, taking personally, or is otherwise unsupportive of who you are or what choices you make, their issues are their own. They may not know it or believe it, but it has really got nothing to do with you. It’s on them, baby.

What other people think of you is none of your business

It takes self-awareness, humility, and maturity to be able to see that our judgments are really about ourselves. Women doing the hurting probably aren’t at a place where they can realize they are operating out of insecurity and self-doubt. It’s all a journey, right?

As I have grown in confidence and authenticity (thanks in large part to my trainers at ProDoula) I’ve learned that releasing others from your judgements releases you from self-judgement as well.

And as wise Eleanor Roosevelt said, “Do what you feel in your heart to be right, for you will be criticized anyway.

Does judgement-free support for your birth and parenting choices sound like something you’d like a bit more of?   Drop us a line!

Eleanor roosevelt

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